The Parable of the Good Satanist

A while ago, I wrote this for a Facebook page of which I was on the administrative team for.  It has been tweaked a little.

Jesus spent a day visiting a church.  Their pastor went to him and said, "How is it that I shall be a great Christian?"

Jesus said, "What do the scriptures say?"

The pastor responded by saying "You are the light, the way, the truth, and the life.  No one goes to the Father but through You."

Jesus said, "Yes, but what is it that I say sums up the law and the prophets?"

The pastor shrugged his shoulders.

Jesus rolled his eyes and said, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

"And," Jesus added, "Paul's letters take it down simply to loving your neighbor."

The pastor scratched his head, confused, and said "Love my neighbor?"

Jesus said, "A teenager was run over by a woman.  She asked him if he was alright, and he said 'no.'  She then threw at him a pamphlet on why to worship me, and drove off.  Soon after, a street preacher walked by, and he yelled at the teenager, saying 'God is punishing you for your sin!'  However, a Satanist, wearing an 'I hate God' t-shirt walked by.  Having compassion for the teen, he picked up the teen, carried him to the hospital, and stayed with the teen until his recovery."

The pastor, still confused said, "I don't get it."

Jesus, frustrated, said "Which of the three that interacted with the teen is the neighbor of whom you should love?"

The pastor, without hesitation, said, "Now that's an easy one.  The woman who threw the pamphlet and the street preacher."

Jesus said, "I do ask that you love all people, but those two have misused my name."

The pastor said, "But it can't be a Satanist."

Jesus said, "It is because of people like the street preacher and the woman that people have become Satanists.  They are not truly against me, but they are against what many people claim to be of me."

The pastor said, "But don't you say that we should make disciples amongst all nations and preach your good news?"

Jesus said, "Yes, but woe to the fool that preaches the gospel with their mouth.  They should try preaching it with their mouth taped shut.  Leading as an example, as I did, by helping those in need, standing up for the oppressed, and striving for justice speaks much louder than any word ever could.  I never said that people will know you to be my disciples because of your attempts to convert others.  I said 'By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.'"

The pastor still didn't understand.  Jesus left that church, feeling sad.  Church membership continued to decline.